It’s like an organized brain dump onto paper. And ahhh, that satisfactory feeling of crossing/marking/checking something off. Or if you’re like me, you just ink the shit out of one item until it’s a black blob on the paper. Weird?
But I used to be a little obsessive about finishing my to-do lists. If I felt stress, pressure or lack of control in my life, I "controlled" everything by becoming overly focused on my to-do list (and usually creating more work/activities/tasks that was remotely necessary).
I would put off fun, spontaneous adventures with friends or just simply relaxing because I was so driven to finish every. single. item. on my list.
As you can imagine, that all went really well. (Not.)
I would end up overwhelmed by the amount of items I had on my list, I would deprive myself of doing anything but those to-do’s and would feel guilty and angry with myself if I didn’t get through it all.
Can anyone relate? It was like I was judging my success and productivity as a person on how much I accomplished on my to-do list...yeeesh.
But lately I seem to be having a new realization. A simplistic, "well-no-duh" kind of realization. One that makes the whole to-do list thing a lot more approachable, healthy and gratifying.
I don’t have to get through the whole damn list.
Accomplishing 2-3 things (or even just ONE) will still put me ahead of where I was when the day started. Baby steps forward, right?! I'm not a failure if I don't power through everything.
I have released myself from the idea of "I need to finish everything." I am now content and pleased with the things I do accomplish. This new mindset allows me to have spontaneous adventures, go out with friends, have relaxing moments to myself and…just enjoy my day a whole lot more. The memories and experiences I’ve had in lieu of getting a few (now long-forgotten) tasks finished have been much more meaningful. Taking care of myself and engaging with others is more productive and satisfactory than crossing off one more item on my list.
If I don’t get myself to the gym, that’s fine…I drank my lemon water in the morning and I did some yoga before bed. Granted, the gym has more of a direct effect on making my ass look good, but drinking lemon water is naturally cleaning for my body and kick-starts my digestion. And yoga calms my mind and body before bed. So, I still took care of myself today, even without the elliptical or weight room.
I didn’t come up with some grand marketing plan for my website and blog today, but I created a newsletter sign-up form and embedded it into my website. I also wrote a blog post and promoted it. See? Still moving forward with my dreams and passions.
Didn’t get my car washed, but I made it to the grocery store, cleaned my apartment and FINALLY took out my trash. Look, I’m still functioning! Even with a dirty car.
And…there’s always tomorrow. A new day. Full of 24 hours.
Of course, you don’t want to use that excuse for everything on your to-do list, especially the items that you really don’t want to face… better to set aside a couple hours to get that one, or few, things done that aren’t fun. Because after a while, you end up thinking about those dreaded tasks for longer than it actually takes to do them. (Believe me, I’m saying that from personal experience!)
So, go into your day with 2-3 things you intend to accomplish. Be content with your decision. And now your energy is focused positively on those few tasks.
If we go into our day thinking we need to get everything done, we tend to set ourselves up for failure and feeling guilty. Because no matter how super-human we are…sometimes completing our entire list isn’t possible. And it’s not worth staying up until 3am to finish. Seriously, dark circles under our eyeballs are not cute.
Release yourself from the notion that you need to get everything done. Control and self-worth are not derived from a completed to-do list. Choose 2-3 things that are important to you to finish. And at the end of the day, be proud and grateful of what you accomplished. Focus on what you DID do, rather than what you DIDN’T do. You'll be amazed at how positive and at-peace you feel.
(A cute notebook like the one pictured above isn’t required, but it certainly makes it all a little bit more fun.)
