Finding Yourself: It's An Inside Job

I have a chronic fear of being stuck. As in, this (relationship, career, home, job, city, environment) is sucking my soul and how will I ever get out of it?

Up until "adulthood" (aka post-graduate life), most of us live in the distinct time frame of a school year. Semesters, quarters, summer breaks...if a class is miserable, you know you'll be done with it in December. If your roommate and apartment suck, you know you can move at the end of the semester. The chapters are short. There is always an end date.

But after graduation, at least for me, it was a wide-open expansive land of time and I guess it freaked me out more than I thought. I'm always afraid of being "stuck."

Physically, in a relationship, a career, a city, in a certain environment. It's not fear of commitment. Hell, I'll 150% commit to something I believe in and if I think it's a good thing. But it's "stuck" in the sense of believing there is no way out of a situation that drains me of energy, positivity, passion and strength. A stagnant, negative relationship. A energy draining, anxiety-filled job. Scares the crap out of me if I ever think of getting stuck in either of those things.

But at the same time I have to laugh at myself. If I ever got myself in those situations, I get the hell out. I'm just that kind of person.

So what am I afraid of?

Being vulnerable enough to stay put for more than 6-months and see what happens? Being at peace and open to whatever the Universe brings me, whether that's tomorrow or in 5 months? Currently, there is no end date to anything I'm doing. I'm fortunate to I love all that I'm doing now and where I live (yes, the car situation in SF sucks and I miss my sunny home and family in San Diego), but overall, it's pretty darn dandy.

It's the no-end-date lifestyle that I need to get used to. In the past, I probably forced those end dates a little too soon and a little too often. I would get restless and scared that I wasn't going anywhere or that I didn't know what I wanted to do...so I would try and solve that by moving. Again.

I feel as though part of my restlessness is coming from the false sense of security I get when I move to a different city or job or apartment. I think that by picking up and moving, everything will be figured out. I'll have left my problems and emotional angst in the last city. I'll be in the right place...finally. I'll find my true purpose...finally. 

But it doesn't work like that.

I realize that when I have those emotions to pick up and leave, to travel and explore (if I got a dollar for all the times I went on Hipmunk to find the cheapest plane ticket to Spain, I could pay for the damn ticket), it's because I'm outwardly searching for answers I can only find on the inside. It's a sign that I need to explore inwardly to find what I'm attempting to discover while on those daring, romantic adventures. I need to explore what is currently and presently surrounding me. Be present and real with it in that moment.

I'm where I am for a reason. The Universe is giving me all the tools to "find myself" right where I am. So by drastically shifting and moving my environment to "find myself," I prolong the whole experience. Because finding yourself isn't really a destination. It's an everyday journey that we're continually on. Yes, I believe one day we can discover our higher purposes and innate reason for being, but until then, finding ourself is being present with ourself. Where we are in that moment.

So as romantic as it sounds to "find myself" in a small cafe at the end of a winding cobblestone street in Italy or on a sunny beach in Greece...I'm not going to find myself any more than I would at the coffee shop down my street. Certainly, I can have grand discoveries or epiphanies or light-bulb moments while in those dreamy places, but it's not going to lead me any closer to that forever elusive thing I'm trying to find.

Maybe if I stop searching, I won't need to find anything. The answers are always here anyways.

Meltdowns, Mascara and Organic Peanut Butter

I think we all have this expectation that when we have a meltdown, we’ll somehow look like the Disney princesses as they flawlessly toss their heads into their arms and do a few snot-free, back-heaving sobs. Who are then suddenly surrounded by their small woodland friends, all of whom have a vocabulary larger than mine, who comfort them in their weaker moments. 

But “flawless” was the furthest thing from my meltdown today as I found myself sitting in my car, full-on sobs, nose running, eyes dripping and with nothing to wipe my face with other than the sleeve of my woolen-ish sweater (ew) and my hands.  

If you’re like me, you can kind of tell when a mini-meltdown will be happening. Like how weather/science/geologist people predict something will happen within a given timeframe, they’re just not sure exactly when and what will set it off. 

Welp, I am a super-scientist when it comes to my meltdowns. I know they’re gonna happen, but since I'm a fairly even-keeled person, I don’t know what will set them off. Although when the switch is flipped, it’s usually because of something completely unrelated…that “cap on the pickle-jar” scenario. It's usually something ridiculous, like the trash bag not fitting on the lid of the trashcan. And rather than pleasantly giving up and buying different trash bags like a normal, sane person, we stretch that sucker until it breaks and the trash can flips over. 

“Oh my gosh, why are you crying Lindsey??”

“The f*cking trash bag won’t fit on the f*cking trash can and it’s so stupid and I’m just so sick of this shit!!”

It wasn’t a trashcan that set me off today; it was finding zero parking spots in my neighborhood. Like zilch. All the ones I did find were free because of the street cleaning tomorrow, which was exactly why I was moving my car in the first place. After about 20 minutes of zooming around, I finally gave up and angrily jerked my car from drive to reverse from drive to reverse until I was backed into an open spot that was indeed marked for street cleaning tomorrow. And then I burst into tears. 

A few weeks of going from my day job (which I love) to my apartment to do my work (building my health and fitness coaching business), with too little sleep and too much coffee, already had my poor adrenals on high alert. I wasn’t giving myself enough breathing time. 

I love every single thing I am doing; it is a lot of work, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel like it. If I need to stay up until midnight to get my projects done, then so be it! I’m full of passion for what I’m creating and doing. The last few weekends have been great…but filled with work. Again, something I’m totally, 100% willing to do. Another under-lying factor is that I am confident in what I’m doing, but at the same time, I also feel like I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I just keep believing in myself, taking action and feeling so blessed that I have support from amazing people.

But I could feel the breaking point coming where I would need to release the stress and adrenaline. I had hoped that it would be via a sad movie sob session or maybe even through a longer meditation (in my dreams), but no. Blubbering in my car. And then proudly prancing down Broderick Street to my apartment, face mildly streaked with make up and mascara (it was cute. And one more contributing factor to #thesinglelife.)

So, my meltdown wasn’t flawless. It was gushing, full of snot and clearly non-waterproof mascara. At the same time, it was fantastic and much needed. 

But I can tell you what I am flawlessly doing right now is sitting on the floor of my apartment writing this with a spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth (it’s organic with no additives, thank you). This was post-forced-cuddle session with my bird, which, for those of you who know birds, “cuddling” isn’t their forte. He loved it though. I know it.  

Anyways, I’m gonna go make dinner. 

I know, there were no “action steps to make you life healthier and happier” in this post. But I hope this was a story that provided entertainment and a sense that we all have “those kinds of days.” A relatable "fairytale."

Lots of love from the health and fitness coach who still stress-eats peanut butter once in a while. Peace out friends. 

5-Minute Kick-Ass Breakfast

I can't stress enough the importance of breakfast. It starts your day off right. You are fueled up and energized, not jittery from a cup of coffee on an empty stomach and it keeps you from grabbing sugary, junky snacks later on as a pick-me-up.

Have breakfast in the morning and thank me later ;) It also makes your coffee taste better >> (scientific fact.)

That all being said, I KNOW what it's like to not have enough time in the morning. I'm not a morning person and no matter how hard I try, I never seem to take a quick shower or get ready in time to make a big, sit-down breakfast.

So here are some of my favorite quick breakfasts ideas:

1. Green smoothie (recipe below!)
2. Oatmeal mixed with 1tbs peanut/almond butter and a piece of fruit
3. Plain, non-fat Greek yogurt with granola (look for whole grain granola with less than 10g of sugar per serving), mix with some berries as well
4. Sprouted whole grain toast with avocado, peanut, almond or sunflower seed butter and a piece of fruit.

Skip the bagel and cream cheese, pre-made yogurt parfaits and sugar laden cereals. It's not healthy....it's sugary, refined crap. No fuel, no energy, no nutrients. Just grossness.

Without further ado, enter my favorite smoothie recipe on the planet. Here it is. I am about ready to rock your world. Change your life. Knock your socks off.

5-Minute Kick-Ass Breakfast

Recipe: Green Chocolate Smoothie

In a blender, the night before:

1. 1 handful of spinach (Yes, spinach. You won't taste it though!)
2. 1 tsp chia or flax seeds (optional)
3. 1 tsp Maca powder (Superfood fuel, yeeehaw! Also optional)
4. 1-2 tbsp peanut/almond/sunflower seed butter
5. 1/2 a banana
6. 1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology

Place the blender in the fridge until morning...

In the morning: 

1. Pour 1-1.5 cups almond milk (unsweetened) in the blender
2. Add a splash of water, depending on how thick you like your smoothies
3. 2 ice cubes
4. A few shakes of cinnamon

Blend.
Pour in a cute mason jar (optional/somewhat necessary)
Enjoy.

BAM.

Not only are fueling up on 15 grams of protein, 40+ super foods, fruits and veggies in chocolate form,  but you did it all in, oh say, 5 minutes.

Happy breakfast eating!

OMG I'M BAAAAACKKKKK!

In my new neighborhood

Hello Beautiful Cyberspace Blog World!!

I'm back.

I know, I've been MIA for the past month or so.

Lots of (positive) change has been going on in my life, which required a lot of time/effort/energy/brain power/emotional endurance, so I gave my semi-Type A self permission to put The Glow Stick Diaries on a temporary "hold" while I focused my energies on my transitions.

Transitions include:

1. Deciding I wanted to pursue a job/career in holistic health and wellness in San Francisco.
2. Applying, interviewing and getting a new job in SF.
3. Putting in my two-weeks notice at work and packing up my apartment.
4. Saying good-bye to very special and wonderful people in my life (although I will see them fairly often...Napa isn't too far away ;)
5. Apartment searching in SF (what a shit show).
6. Putting my stuff in storage, moving into my apartment, starting a new job...

And currently tying up a few loose ends here and there. But other than that, my decision to move to San Francisco has been one of the best I made. Although I ran the gamut of emotions over this past month with all the change, it was all positive and so invigorating.

View from Alta Plaza park...a few blocks away.

I've only been in the city two weeks, but I feel so at home, so inspired, so comfortable and already feel like I have a work family. So grateful.

And might I add...after just 2 weeks of walking up these damned hills...my butt looks fantastic.

Anyways, even though full-on writing was on the back burner this past month, I certainly wasn't short of ideas, thoughts, inspiration, etc. Every time something popped into my mind, I wrote it down on a scrap piece of paper, on my iPhone, emailed it to myself - anything!

Blue Bottle Coffee = <3

So what I'm trying to say is, get ready for an outpouring of Lindsey's brain.

I'm so excited to get back to my passion project again :) I love writing, helping and inspiring in any way I can.

And as I sit here in my new, basically almost permanent (the landlord still needs to do *final* approval of my application) apartment, I am filled with such peace and gratitude.

Sending so much love to everyone and all my friends and family who have been there every second for me during this transition. I am one lucky girl to have so many supportive, encouraging people in my life. Thank you!

Why it's ok to not finish EVERYTHING on your to-do list

I love to-do lists. 

It’s like an organized brain dump onto paper. And ahhh, that satisfactory feeling of crossing/marking/checking something off. Or if you’re like me, you just ink the shit out of one item until it’s a black blob on the paper. Weird? 

But I used to be a little obsessive about finishing my to-do lists. If I felt stress, pressure or lack of control in my life, I "controlled" everything by becoming overly focused on my to-do list (and usually creating more work/activities/tasks that was remotely necessary).

I would put off fun, spontaneous adventures with friends or just simply relaxing because I was so driven to finish every. single. item. on my list. 

As you can imagine, that all went really well. (Not.) 

I would end up overwhelmed by the amount of items I had on my list, I would deprive myself of doing anything but those to-do’s and would feel guilty and angry with myself if I didn’t get through it all. 

Can anyone relate? It was like I was judging my success and productivity as a person on how much I accomplished on my to-do list...yeeesh.

But lately I seem to be having a new realization. A simplistic, "well-no-duh" kind of realization. One that makes the whole to-do list thing a lot more approachable, healthy and gratifying. 

I don’t have to get through the whole damn list. 

Accomplishing 2-3 things (or even just ONE) will still put me ahead of where I was when the day started. Baby steps forward, right?! I'm not a failure if I don't power through everything. 

I have released myself from the idea of "I need to finish everything." I am now content and pleased with the things I do accomplish. This new mindset allows me to have spontaneous adventures, go out with friends, have relaxing moments to myself and…just enjoy my day a whole lot more. The memories and experiences I’ve had in lieu of getting a few (now long-forgotten) tasks finished have been much more meaningful. Taking care of myself and engaging with others is more productive and satisfactory than crossing off one more item on my list. 

If I don’t get myself to the gym, that’s fine…I drank my lemon water in the morning and I did some yoga before bed. Granted, the gym has more of a direct effect on making my ass look good, but drinking lemon water is naturally cleaning for my body and kick-starts my digestion. And yoga calms my mind and body before bed. So, I still took care of myself today, even without the elliptical or weight room. 

I didn’t come up with some grand marketing plan for my website and blog today, but I created a newsletter sign-up form and embedded it into my website. I also wrote a blog post and promoted it. See? Still moving forward with my dreams and passions.  

Didn’t get my car washed, but I made it to the grocery store, cleaned my apartment and FINALLY took out my trash. Look, I’m still functioning! Even with a dirty car. 

And…there’s always tomorrow. A new day. Full of 24 hours.

Of course, you don’t want to use that excuse for everything on your to-do list, especially the items that you really don’t want to face… better to set aside a couple hours to get that one, or few, things done that aren’t fun. Because after a while, you end up thinking about those dreaded tasks for longer than it actually takes to do them. (Believe me, I’m saying that from personal experience!)

So, go into your day with 2-3 things you intend to accomplish. Be content with your decision. And now your energy is focused positively on those few tasks. 

If we go into our day thinking we need to get everything done, we tend to set ourselves up for failure and feeling guilty. Because no matter how super-human we are…sometimes completing our entire list isn’t possible. And it’s not worth staying up until 3am to finish. Seriously, dark circles under our eyeballs are not cute. 

Release yourself from the notion that you need to get everything done. Control and self-worth are not derived from a completed to-do list. Choose 2-3 things that are important to you to finish. And at the end of the day, be proud and grateful of what you accomplished. Focus on what you DID do, rather than what you DIDN’T do. You'll be amazed at how positive and at-peace you feel. 

(A cute notebook like the one pictured above isn’t required, but it certainly makes it all a little bit more fun.) 

Kick Ass and Be Fierce

My mantra for the day <3

The Six Most Powerful Words You Can Say To Yourself

"It's a good thing I'm me."

I will never forget the moment I said those words to myself. The profound effect those six simple words had on my mindset and the places it has given me the courage to go. 

I had just finished talking with my family about my plans (well, at that point they were more of a vague idea) of moving up to Napa Valley to work in hospitality. It was an uplifting and encouraging talk, but I still was overwhelmed at the prospect of doing something that involved such a radical change in my life. And the overwhelming emotions kicked my ego/mind into high-gear...and I began to tell myself I wasn't good enough to find a job in a new area, that I was making a mistake, etc. 

I went to the bathroom to pee and zen out (normal?) for a second. At that point, the thoughts swirling around my mind went something like this: You want to find out more about wine and hospitality Lindsey? Yeah, you and everyone else in that region. What makes you think you even have a chance of being successful at that? You're not any different from all those people. AND you have zero hospitality experience. LOL, REALLY? My mind continued this string of thoughts until I looked at myself in the mirror and a small, but strong voice came out of nowhere and said:

"Well, it's a good thing I'm me."

It almost felt like I had been slapped in the face or another person had said those words. But no...it was me. My inner voice and wisdom finally standing up to my mind and its bullying tendencies. 

I blinked and stared into the mirror. Rapidly feeling a sense of expansion and self-criticism being lifted from my shoulders. 

Of course I could do the move and get a job. I was me. I had the power to make it happen. As does everyone else. And if it didn't happen, then something better would come as a result of simply trying for it in the first place. What did I have to lose? 

And looking back, I have to laugh. Saying such self-empowering words to myself while looking in the mirror, when years before the mirror had been a source of such self-loathing and negativity. Using it to hate and pick apart my body, trying to fit some delusional expectation I had about the way I should look. It was my worst enemy for years, but now I looked at myself and felt empowerment, not inability and hatred. 

Since then, those 6 simple words began a profound shift in life. My mind, my ego, usually the home of self-doubt and criticism has slowly started joining the same team as my heart and inner wisdom. It's no longer a booming voice that drowns out my heart-induced feelings and inspirations. 

Now whenever I'm faced with a challenging situation or an important opportunity, I am being greeted by self-doubt less and less. Sure, it's still there and doesn't go away overnight. But by nurturing and loving that inner voice of mine, and allowing it the freedom and space to speak, it's become stronger. And that little, encouraging voice in my mind has given me the comfort and confidence to "go for it." To try for something I really want. In so many different aspects of my life.

Thoughts become things and that is certainly true when it comes to the conversations you have with yourself. Allow your inner wisdom and voice the space to speak and guide you. Greet that self-doubting ego with a big, respectful "hello!" but then gently remind it that you're going to focus on your intuitive voice instead. Because the more you fight the ego, the stronger it gets. 

Here's how I think of it: let your heart lead you and let your mind say, "Ok. Game Plan!" Because you do need both; your logical, analytical mind and your intuitive, dream-following heart...but when the two are at odds or if you are constantly led by one and not the other, life gets thrown out of balance. It's hard to move forward in a positive, inspiring way. When that happens to me, I just feel like I'm stuck. My heart is pushing on the gas pedal, but my mind still has the car in park because it's afraid and doubtful. 

Don't let you mind bully your body and inner wisdom. Begin to view your mind and intuition as being on the same team. So, the next time you're filled with self-doubt, go to the bathroom to pee and zen out, look at yourself in the mirror and say "It's a good thing I'm me." And then go conquer the world. 

What To Do With Negative Feedback (tequila-spiked lemonade anyone?)

The out-pouring of love and support I felt yesterday when my article was posted on Thought Catalogue was incredible. I am so grateful and thankful and feel SO beyond fortunate to have such encouragement and wonderful friends behind me as I move forward with this new venture. A sincere and heartfelt "thank you" to everyone; friends, family, acquaintances...it means so much to me and gives me even more fuel to keep doing what I'm doing.

That being said...haha, I made the amateur mistake today of flipping through the comment section of my article on Thought Catalogue today.

LOL. Wowsies.

There were the general, "very inspiring!" "great article!"

And my all-time favorite: "Good advice but not to be confused with, 'I can bang every person that I want, no matter who I am with.'"

And then there were the negative comments. Like, "ouch" kind of negative. Ranging from "this is a terrible article" and "a horrible piece of advice, as you obviously have a severe anxiety disorder" to some crazy troll Internet person who just lambasted me. It was almost deranged sounding...calling me derogatory names, tearing my writing apart...it was quite charming (not.)

I was skimming over this as I rode in the car (in the passenger seat Dad, don't worry) to the Marin Headlands and thankfully I had the sense to shut my phone off and put it away. I quieted for a minute and looked out the window as we drove across the Golden Gate Bridge. I felt a little sick, taken aback by the craziness of that one comment. I was able to shake it off quite quickly though and enjoy the rest of my afternoon. Especially the view from the Marin Headlands, I mean OMG gorgeous.

Our next stop was Stinson Beach, and as we relaxed in the on-and-off again sun I told my fellow adventurer what I had read and how I felt.

Honestly, I was glad it happened. I am the one entering the field where negative feedback and disagreement is 100% bound to happen. I'm setting myself up for it! And I know it. But on the flip side, there will be people who are hopefully inspired and motivated by what I write. I just want to help people, in any way I can, and those are the ones I want to reach. But it's not always going to be a bulls-eye every time.

I went on to tell him that not only was I glad it happened with the first article (I mean, let's just get this negative feedback going from square one and then it will never be a shocker again, haha!), but it also allowed me to toughen up my skin a bit for the upcoming journey.

Here were the two lessons I learned:

1. I will focus on the feedback, advice, constructive criticism and thoughts I receive from people I know and respect, and from those (strangers or not) who reach out to me in a respectful way. As someone said to me the first day I posted my YouTube video about this blog, "Don't invest energy pleasing the critics...it's a go-nowhere path." I now fully invest my energy, not in combating the critics, but in doing my best to reach as many people I can in a positive way.  
2. No more looking at the comments from my guest posts. Aha. Whether it's on the website/blog's Facebook page or the comment section itself, I believe it would be best overall to not review those sections. I am beyond open to criticism and feedback, but I think reading it on sites and blogs that are not my own, where it's not 100% my true audience, would be more detrimental than productive. Why expend that kind of energy? I'll focus on what my audience has to say on my blog and website. (Any other seasoned bloggers/writers have thoughts and feedback regarding this? :) ) 

Anyhoo. Sending love and gratitude to those who have given me encouragement and productive criticism. And now I'm off to go make lemonade, accidentally spiked with tequila, with those lemons I received today. Grateful for those lessons learned. 

Cheers! 

How Ancient Greek Wisdom Can Change Our Lives. (Like, Right Now.)

I never thought I would weave ancient Greek wisdom into my blogging. But alas, I have here for you a powerful story that could teach us a thing or two about the importance of following our own path. 

So, with no further ado: Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!

(Sorry, I had to. And yes I know, Greece vs. Rome, but whatever.)

This story of Greek wisdom comes from someone I met in Denver during the Writer's Workshop weekend. But I didn't meet him at the conference. It was a much more of a chance encounter (although how much of anything is really by "chance"?) that ended up in a conversation and then a spontaneous brunch the morning before I left. He was a kindred sprit, the type of person you feel fortunate to meet.

This was an email I received from him today (he is a writer as well, thus the eloquence of his storytelling). 

There once was this Greek sculptor who went by the name of Polykleitos. Polykleitos was a man obsessed with math. He was a careful observer of the natural world and all of its wondrous forms. In his observations, he noticed something highly peculiar. There was this sort of mathematical proportioning which seemed present in every plant, animal, rock, mountain, shadow, energy, in everything he observed which wasn't man made.

In his quest to create the perfect sculpture of a human figure, he decided that the application of this equation was necessary. But he wanted to make a test of it. He wanted to show his fellow Greeks beyond and reasonable doubt that his discovery regarding proportion was valid. So Polykleitos made two statues. One, he applied his formula of proportioning to, and for the other he relied on the views of the average Greek citizen. By which I mean he literally opened up the doors of his work shop to Greece herself. Any one who wanted to could simply walk into his shop and tell him, "Make the arms longer." or "I think this shoulder should be higher." "The eyes should be further apart." Any change he was asked to make, he made without question.  

When he was finished he unveiled both statues to the public. While both were beautiful, no doubt, but there was clearly one which stood out as being vastly superior. All of his countryman agreed, and Ploykleitos himself beamed with pride. With a sly smile he told them, "This is the statue which I have created. That abomination you see there, was what you created."

Polykleitos changed forever the way the Greek people thought, created, and looked at art. Indeed, the ripples of his ideals are still felt to this day when we look at artistic proportioning. 

Now, the reason I am sending you this story was because I was having this conversation with a co-worker today and he was giving me all of this advice on what I should be doing with my life. I started thinking about it...doesn't everyone seem to have an opinion on what you SHOULD be doing with your life? Don't you find at just about every turn you are meeting people who want to steer you in this direction or that? I started thinking about these things as I was driving and then I remembered the story of Polykleitos. I remembered the profound effect he had on the world around him by following his own path. By believing in himself and by paving his own road. 

Wow.

Pretty snazzy, huh?

I always go to friends and family (and, let's be real, my daily/weekly/monthly/singles horoscope online) when I need opinions, thoughts and advice. I take their ideas with gratitude and respect, and weigh them in with my "gut" decision. And sometimes I even come to the right conclusion by simply talking through my situation with them.

Always feel empowered to seek advice and wisdom from others, especially those you respect. Being an independent, trail-blazing lone wolf at all times can be a burden! But use their words of advice as a part of your decision making process, not the sole reliable source. Because no one knows you better than YOU.

It's easy to fall into the habit of doing what others think you should do. It is much less scary and overwhelming to follow along with what friends/family/society expects you to do, rather than follow your own (sometimes scary-as-hell) dreams and gut feelings. But...it's your life. Not theirs. You were given your own voice for a reason; let it be heard!

So remember my dear Romans, like Polykleitos, you have the power and permission to trust your instincts. Because you never know the profound effect you will have on the world by believing in yourself and paving your own road. 

Your New Favorite Drink! (and it's not what you think...)

Aaaaaand drumroll please...your new favorite drink is....

Water. 

WATER. WATER. WATER. 

WATER. 

I cannot stress how important this is (or did the all-caps give it away?) Our bodies are made up of 65-70% water, so we, kinda, you know, need it to live. And the crazy thing is, almost 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. Yikes.

So how much should we really be drinking? A good rule of thumb is to drink half your body weight in ounces of water each day. For example, if you weigh 140 pounds, you should be drinking at least 70oz of water daily. And no, coffee/soda/milk/vitamin water/Red Bull/sugar shit does not count. Fresh, clear, plain ole water. Bonus: if you eat lots of (raw) veggies, water-filled fruits (think, watermelon) and green juices you are hydrating body even more. Huzzah!

Dehydration can lead to headaches, fatigue, drowsiness, increased cravings and even cause sluggish bowel movements. And when we feel hungry, a lot of the time we're actually thirsty! It's a good idea to drink a glass of water when you start feeling hungry...because more often than not, you're probably just thirsty.

Hydrating yourself with enough water will have a natural cleansing effect on your body, as it helps flush out toxins and keeps your bowels regular and flowing (which is super important when it comes to your health. We won't "go there" today, but much of your overall well-being is a direct reflection of your gut health.)

Drinking lots of water will also help reduce cravings. When you hydrate your body properly, you won't go as cray cray with those sugar/junk food/cheese/bread cravings. By drinking half your body weight in water, you will begin to feel more refreshed, awake and revived as well. Clients I've worked with have reported that their mid-morning and afternoon slumps became much less noticeable when they drank enough water (diet also plays a role in those "slumps," but again, another article for another time). Also...clearer, brighter, less wrinkled skin? Yep. Water. You'll have a more glowing complexion.

Put It Into Practice: 

1. Before you start sipping chugging your coffee and/or tea each morning, have a big glass of water. You don't have to stand at the sink and throw it back like you're having a beer drinking contest, but sip on it throughout the morning while you're getting ready or before you sit down to eat breakfast.

2. One of the easiest ways to ensure you are drinking enough water is to buy a reusable water bottle. Get a pretty one ;) Keep it by your side, on your desk, in your purse, take it with you on car rides, have it be your gym buddy...you get the picture. My reusable water bottle is 20oz...so I'm able to keep track of how much water I'm drinking by how many times I refill it. Pretty handy.

3. When you start to feel hungry, have a glass of water or take a few sips from your water bottle. Most of the time we feel hungry, we're actually just thirsty. That begin said, if you're still feeling hungry after you have your water, definitely eat!

4. Start small. Replace one caffeinated or "fake" drink with water each day. Instead of reaching for a third cup of coffee, a soda or Red Bull in the afternoon, etc., replace it with agua. Just give it a try :)
And here's a handy 7 Reasons to Drink More Water guide. Pin it, share it, love it, save it to your phone, print it out, hang it on your fridge, frame it (just kidding).

The most important moment of the Hay House Writer's Workshop (and some inspirational goodies!)

It was a week ago today that I came home from the Hay House Writer’s Workshop in Denver. It feels like just yesterday that I was there. But it also feels like this past week has lasted a year. Weird? 

Despite my time/space confusion, I wanted to share some of my favorite quotes from last weekend! And I also wanted to share the most important moment of the weekend...for me, at least. And it all happened during the last three minutes of the workshop on Sunday evening. 

For the past month or so, I’ve been telling my parents and those close to me that I feel like I’m standing on a cliff overlooking an ocean…but the ocean is covered in clouds and fog and I can’t see what’s beneath it. I hear seagulls crying and waves crashing and hissing as they wash up the shore, but I can’t see anything. I know and feel that something huge and amazing is underneath those clouds, but I don’t know what it is. The clouds are going to clear soon though, I can feel it. 

This image is coming from a more intuitive place, I’m sure, and it is constantly in my mind. 

During the last minutes of the workshop on Sunday evening, Nancy Levin (the Hay House Event Director) closed the workshop by reading a poem she had written in her book, Jump…And Your Life Will Appear. 

One of the last lines of the poem was this: 

“The clouds unveil the views when you are ready for the climb.”

I felt like I had been slapped in the face. 

“The clouds unveil the views when you are ready for the climb.”

The quote applied so perfectly to what I had been feeling for so long…and that’s when the tears started. 

I snuffled and blinked furiously as the workshop ended and then darted into the bathroom where I found a stall of safety for my tears to flow more freely. I was almost shaking. My heart swelled with some feeling that I couldn’t quite recognize.

As if I needed any more green flashing karmic arrows, it was then when I looked up at my coffee cup which I had placed precariously on top of the toilet paper dispenser. The message written on the sleeve, facing directly at me said: “Follow your passion. It will lead you to your purpose.”

OK. Ok, Universe. Ok.

Yes, I know, Oprah Winfrey’s words are on about three million other Starbucks coffee sleeves, but it still felt like another sign to me.

I regained my composure, unlocked the stall door, washed my hands and did one last loop around the conference center before heading back to my hotel. My sunglasses were pressed firmly into my face, as I was susceptible for more teary moments on the walk home. 

I relaxed at my hotel room that evening, listening to the crooning, soulful voice of Amy Winehouse, soaking up the energy of the day. Around dinner time, I filled up my water bottle with some white wine (truly the most rebellious thing I’ve ever done, other than accidentally running a red light) and walked to a small park next to my hotel. 

I laid down on the grassy hill and looked up at the blue sky, scattered with white, wispy clouds. Feeling peace and tranquility that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I sipped my wine and closed my eyes; embracing every last bit of passion, drive and excitement I had felt during the workshop. 

I am so grateful that experience. I could feel going into the weekend that there was going to be some major shift that came from it, and I was right. The workshop was exactly the fuel I needed to make the glowing embers turn into a fire. 

Here are some goodies I made from my favorite quotes at the Hay House Writer’s Workshop! Enjoy, Pin, Facebook, Instagram, Tweet, Share <3 

Doubt vs. Faith

Small Acts of Kindness: How My Coffee Habit Made Me Feel At Home

Life is all about human connection. Well, mostly. And not "let-me-comment-on-your-Instagram-post" kind of connection. Like real, face-to-face, human connection.

Here’s a fun little anecdote about how my Starbucks Coffee habit addiction made me feel more at home.

I moved to Napa at the end of February, not knowing anyone, anything…just an empty apartment and me. I was fortunate enough to be in a work environment that made me feel like I had a family and life in Napa by the end of my first month here. But I was still obviously adjusting and getting to know the area. I felt like I had friends, but the idea of community was still taking form.

There was a Starbucks right down the road from me in a little shopping center. It was a 10 minute walk or a two minute drive, easy to get to before or after work, post-gym…basically what I’m trying to say is I went there often. Near the end of March, I walked in one day before work and the barista gave me my coffee for free. Surprised, I thanked him, smiled and walked out feeling grateful and happy. (Small things in life, right?)

Anyways, it happened again. And again. And again. He eventually introduced himself and his friend/co-worker. Almost every time I came in during the afternoons, he and his friend were working. And almost 100% of the time I would walk away with a free iced coffee or pay $.50 for it. 

I didn’t quite know what I had done to deserve it, but I was thankful and grateful nonetheless. Most of the time I left a tip (it was almost getting embarrassing and awkward at this point) because I didn’t feel comfortable walking away with a free coffee every time. As time went on, I got to know the two baristas and they got to know me, at least in a quick, happy conversation sense. The free coffees continued and I knew I needed to do something to “repay” them.

I looked forward to the days I went into the store…and it wasn't because of the free coffee. It was a place outside of work where I was recognized and there was always some positive engagement with the baristas.

Obviously getting them a Starbucks gift card was out of the picture. I hesitated in getting a bottle of wine. And as much as I would’ve liked to have baked them something, unfortunately that’s a little sketch nowadays (I mean, imagine the shit people could put in there?!) So I settled for some of my favorite snacks and chocolates from Trader Joe’s ( << always a good idea) and a hand-written note. The letter thanked them sincerely for their generosity and for helping instill a sense of community in me where I didn't have it before.

I dropped off the snacks and note with the main barista the other day when I was on my way to work. I was happy to finally “repay” them in a sense. When I came in this afternoon, the guy at the register greeted me and asked what I would like to drink. Half-way through my order he stopped me and said,

“Wait, you’re Lindsey, right? You’re the one that wrote that note!”

“Haha, yeah, that was me.”

“That was so sweet of you! We hung it up in the back there.”

Another girl popped her head around and said, “Oh, wait! Is that ‘Lindsey’? Oh my gosh, your note was so sweet! We loved it, thank you!”

I was a little red by now, but happy nonetheless.

At that moment, one of the two main baristas who had been part of the give-Lindsey-free-coffee campaign, came around the counter and gave me a heart-felt and sincere hug, thanking me for the note. I thanked him in turn and reiterated how much it meant to me to come in here.

I smiled like a goon while waiting for my coffee (which I paid for, THANK GOD) thanked them again and walked outside to where I sat and started writing this post.

I feel so happy. It doesn’t matter how long I live in Napa, I will always remember this afternoon. The connection, energy and kindness felt between people who are basically strangers. It goes to show that small, simple acts of kindness can make a difference to anyone. Those free coffees and snippets of conversation I had with the baristas made Napa feel more like a home to me. My very small form of re-payment meant a lot to the people there.

It’s moments like this that I am thankful for. I wasn’t hit over the head and knocked silly by some major life lesson, but I feel the same sort of shift and gratitude that comes from learning one of those life lessons.

Small acts of kindness my friends. Never underestimate that power.

The Best Piece of Advice (ever): “Pursue Everything”

The other night I struggled to fall asleep. Mindless complications in my personal life (i.e. boys/friends/work/writing/work opportunities/pet unicorns) left my brain buzzing and my eyes wide open.

None of it was necessarily bad, it just felt like I had my thoughts and emotions scattered down about 30 different paths. Different scenarios, different ideas, different thoughts, different feelings. Getting caught up in the dizzying, yet so addicting, habit of running “future scenarios” in my head. If I focused on this in my life…If I became closer to this person…If I pursued this interest and passion of mine…should I go to the gym tomorrow…why is Simon Baker married…this is what I’m going to say to this person if this happens…Lindsey. Yes? Shut up. Ok…. It. went. on. and. on.

Finally, I was beginning to drift off to sleep, managing to find comfort in the most awkward and ridiculous sleeping position ever (I mean, it was like I was doing a pirouette move in my sleep), but then…

Ding Ding. 

My phone alerted me of a new text message. It was midnight and I had to get up early the next morning. Thank God I live alone because some version of this came out of my mouth:

“WHO THE FUCK JUST TEXTED ME.”

I looked at my phone and saw a short message from a person and situation that I assumed had already had a natural ending… It was sweet, but it began a whole new wave of thoughts, questions and “what ifs” in my mind. And now my thoughts were going in 50 directions instead.

Everything became a cluster monkey in my brain and I literally started laughing out loud (again, grateful I live alone) because of the drama that I felt was surrounding my existence at that moment. (A dramatic, ego-centric thought in itself, I’m sure, but still.)

Per usual, I emailed my mom for her advice. Updating her on the different situations, problems, etc. I was essentially asking her “WTF should I do about this situation, this person, that whole thing… Mom, all I really want right now is to be paid to write and do theatre and find a way to marry Simon Baker.” (<< actual quote from my email, I kid you not.)

I sent a text back. And once the email was sent to my mother as well, my mind still continued to run its course. But like my physical body, after about one mile of “running” it began to sputter, slow down, collapse, face plant and fall asleep.

I woke up the next morning, unsure of why I felt so groggy (and, let’s face it, unsure of why the hell my alarm was going off). Then I remembered my hamster in its wheel act from the night before and I became sort of bug-eyed remembering everything that happened.

I checked my email, hoping the iPhone screen would semi wake me up. I smiled at my “Note from the Universe” and then clicked on the email my mother had sent back (thank God) with what was sure to be solid advice in what path to take, what situation/person to release from my life, what to move forward with, etc…

But her email started like this:

“Pursue everything!” 

WAT.

“Pursue everything!”

LOL. Wat.

She went on with a list of all that I should pursue…every situation, person, job idea, scenario and dream that I had asked her about the night before….I should pursue everything. Although thinking back, she never specifically said anything about the Simon Baker situation. Hmm.

Anyways, it hadn’t even occurred to me to simply “pursue everything.” I’m Lindsey and my life thrives on structure, routine and fairly solid understanding of which direction I am going.

I expected an answer that would help clarify what I should pursue, which path to take and what to release in my life. In other words, I was expecting advice that would ultimately lead to limitations, boundaries and closed opportunities.

But…why would I do that? I have no idea what will happen in the future and since none of these things on my mind were necessarily toxic to my daily and personal life, why shouldn’t I pursue each direction? Those that are meant to stay and/or teach a lesson will stick around and those that are not meant to be in my life will have a natural, organic ending.

“Pursue everything.”

What an awesome piece of effing advice.

So, I encourage you…rather than try to puzzle out your life, whether it’s with relationships, friendships, career opportunities, hobbies and passions, and restrict yourself to one path in particular, try it all. As long as something isn’t toxic, weighing heavy on your heart or bringing you or your dreams down, PURSUE IT. Putting your brain in over-drive imagining and thinking of future outcomes of different situations/people/opportunities in your life is exhausting and, in my case, causes sleep deprivation.

Release that notion that there is only one “right” answer or path to pursue. Try it all. Test all the waters. Give it all a shot. Why not? If someone or something is meant to be, the Universe will figure it out for you, not your logical brain (as lovely as its intentions are sometimes). Opening up to multiple opportunities, rather than limiting yourself to one or a few, will let so much more positive energy and opportunity flow into your life.

And with that all said and done, I’m going to finish my wine and head to bed. Mind free and clear from worrying about which path I should pursue. Because right now, I’m tryin’ it all.

Feeling Restless? Why You Should Settle Into the Present Moment Instead

I am restless to a fault sometimes. If I get unsettled, lost, confused or lonely with my present life, I usually go searching for “the something” that will make me happy. And usually this “something” is more drastic; moving, changing/searching for new jobs, picking up and leaving and traveling to some exotic place where worries don’t exist. (Take me back to Spain, please?)

Except that searching outwardly for the thing that will make me feel light, settled and content usually makes me feel more distressed and agitated.

The more I go searching for “the answer,” the more it eludes me. It’s like the enlightened feelings and adventure I seek are dancing in front of me and the more I reach, strain and try to capture it…the fainter it becomes.

Happiness isn’t found on the outside. That big, green, neon flashing sign pointing you in the right direction and down the right path isn’t found on the outside either. No matter how much you search for it.

Both those things are found when you sit with your present moment and chill. the hell. out. 

Both those things come from within. They come from being in the present moment and learning from whatever it brings you; no matter how painful, lonely or distressing the feelings can be. There’s no use escaping them. They’ll only keep following you. Settle down, feel those feelings and cry, scream, yell, write, run, dance if you need to. Let them flow through you. They are serving a purpose. I promise.

But don’t wallow in those feelings that are bringing you down. Respect them enough to sit and listen to what they have to say. Be present with them. But then treat those unsettled and restless feelings as a “call to action” to do things to ground yourself in the present moment. What grounds you? Is it yoga? Painting? Writing? Singing? A cup of coffee at a cafe with a friend? Spending more time outdoors and less time in front of a computer?

It’s only when we are in the present moment with our feelings, learn from them and take action that our intuition begins to speak and flow through our soul. Our intuition brings us happiness. Our intuitions speaks to us and puts us in the right alignment with The Universe. By listening to our intuition, we are naturally guided to those flashing green signs, pointing us in the direction of our next journey, when the time is right. Why waste energy fruitlessly searching for those signs and the “next thing” to make us happy, when we could instead relax and enjoy what we have in the present moment and have those things manifest themselves naturally in our life when we are ready for them? (And yes, that was a very long, run-on sentence. But, again, my blog = artistic Lindsey license)

It can be so difficult to have enough grounding sense, trust and faith in The Universe (or what/whoever you believe in) to let go of the reins of life when we’re not doing well. When all we want is to escape the present moment and go searching in earnest to find what will finally make us whole and happy. I have to constantly remind myself that it doesn’t work like that.

I have to dig through those uncomfortable emotions, hit low points and learn from what they are telling me. They are there to serve a purpose. It’s amazing how enlightened and empowered I feel when I put my faith and trust in The Universe to “work it out” and I live, learn and laugh in the present moment. That’s when the valuable lessons come through. Your intuition will guide and protect you. It always works in our best interest, despite our logical minds telling us otherwise. Letting go of those reigns lets all of the right kind of energy flow into your life and lead you in the exact right direction. Fear not, beautiful one.

So as I begin to sit and feel more comfortable with my uncomfortable feelings as of late, I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders. Although I usually have to remind myself to “chill the hell out” several times a day, it does get easier. And when I tell myself that I am exactly where I should be at this moment, because my intuition brought me here not long ago, I begin to trust again. I begin to trust in a bigger presence that is working magic for me “in the background” and doing things that I have no idea about…yet. But it’s all working in my favor. I mean, why not believe that?

I don’t need to have it all figured out yet. Even though when I’m going through a rough period, all I can think of is “figuring it out” and finding “the answer” to happiness.

The answer to happiness is to sit back, listen, learn, see and really feel what the present moment is bringing you. Both the good and the bad. Don’t go trying to “figure it out.” The answer will evade you until you settle into your present feelings and let your intuition speak from your heart.

Here are Three Powerful Journaling Exercises to get you started on the right track!