Relationships: Why You Need to Fulfill Your Life First

OK, #realtalk guys and gals. Relationships.

Let’s cut to the chase...

You’ve got to be a whole, complete and happy person from the inside out before you should responsibly get into a relationship. You shouldn't have to depend on a relationship or a person to make you happy and fulfill your life. Your life should already be full and fulfilled with your own joys, happiness and activities, and a relationship should be a wonderful addition to all of that.

If you enter a relationship with the idea of the significant other filling a void in your life and being the “thing” that will make you happy: RED FLAG. You’re setting yourself up to become dependent on the other person, dependent on their happiness and dependent on their opinion of you to make you happy. That won't work. You have to fill your “life-cup” up to the brim with your own strength and happiness and then have the relationship as the thing that maketh your cup overfloweth. (Or whatever the hell that saying is.)

Make your own field of flowers, filled with ponies and unicorns dancing with fairies...and then think of a relationship. The funny thing is, when you’re so fulfilled and confident with your own life as it is, you aren't busy thinking about relationships and love until it endearingly smacks you in the face. You weren’t searching for it, but there it is. What a happy little surprise.

So, work and focus on YOU. Enjoy your life, create your dreams, pursue your passions and fill any voids you feel from the inside out. That way, when a relationship comes along, it  doesn’t have any room to sneak under your skin or fill up any of those voids. Because when a relationship is used to fill a void in your life, the second that relationship gets toxic, or should I say, the second you realize that relationship is toxic, it’s a hell of a lot harder to break free from it.

This may be a disgusting image comparison, but I see a relationship filling a void in your life like dirt and grime fills up your pores in your face. You have to wash, exfoliate, French clay, honey mask the shit out of it in order to get it gone. But if your skin was healthy and supple to begin with, dat grime would have a lot harder of a time sneaking in. (I know I know, who has perfect skin like that? Not many people, but you get what I’m trying to say.)

So ladies and gents, YOU need to fulfill your life before anyone else can. Okey dokey?

Now, go write three things that you like about yourself and three things that YOU love, want to do and create in your life...and then go start doing it.  (: