Happy Everything

Start each day with a grateful heart and positive attitude! 

For me, my day began with PiYo kicking my ass, made a chocolate "green" smoothie, am off to work and then San Francisco bound for the next two days!! So many exciting things coming up...lots of opportunities that I can't wait to share :) 

Do it...out loud: Say 5 things that you are happy and grateful for! It works :) 

Why it's ok to not finish EVERYTHING on your to-do list

I love to-do lists. 

It’s like an organized brain dump onto paper. And ahhh, that satisfactory feeling of crossing/marking/checking something off. Or if you’re like me, you just ink the shit out of one item until it’s a black blob on the paper. Weird? 

But I used to be a little obsessive about finishing my to-do lists. If I felt stress, pressure or lack of control in my life, I "controlled" everything by becoming overly focused on my to-do list (and usually creating more work/activities/tasks that was remotely necessary).

I would put off fun, spontaneous adventures with friends or just simply relaxing because I was so driven to finish every. single. item. on my list. 

As you can imagine, that all went really well. (Not.) 

I would end up overwhelmed by the amount of items I had on my list, I would deprive myself of doing anything but those to-do’s and would feel guilty and angry with myself if I didn’t get through it all. 

Can anyone relate? It was like I was judging my success and productivity as a person on how much I accomplished on my to-do list...yeeesh.

But lately I seem to be having a new realization. A simplistic, "well-no-duh" kind of realization. One that makes the whole to-do list thing a lot more approachable, healthy and gratifying. 

I don’t have to get through the whole damn list. 

Accomplishing 2-3 things (or even just ONE) will still put me ahead of where I was when the day started. Baby steps forward, right?! I'm not a failure if I don't power through everything. 

I have released myself from the idea of "I need to finish everything." I am now content and pleased with the things I do accomplish. This new mindset allows me to have spontaneous adventures, go out with friends, have relaxing moments to myself and…just enjoy my day a whole lot more. The memories and experiences I’ve had in lieu of getting a few (now long-forgotten) tasks finished have been much more meaningful. Taking care of myself and engaging with others is more productive and satisfactory than crossing off one more item on my list. 

If I don’t get myself to the gym, that’s fine…I drank my lemon water in the morning and I did some yoga before bed. Granted, the gym has more of a direct effect on making my ass look good, but drinking lemon water is naturally cleaning for my body and kick-starts my digestion. And yoga calms my mind and body before bed. So, I still took care of myself today, even without the elliptical or weight room. 

I didn’t come up with some grand marketing plan for my website and blog today, but I created a newsletter sign-up form and embedded it into my website. I also wrote a blog post and promoted it. See? Still moving forward with my dreams and passions.  

Didn’t get my car washed, but I made it to the grocery store, cleaned my apartment and FINALLY took out my trash. Look, I’m still functioning! Even with a dirty car. 

And…there’s always tomorrow. A new day. Full of 24 hours.

Of course, you don’t want to use that excuse for everything on your to-do list, especially the items that you really don’t want to face… better to set aside a couple hours to get that one, or few, things done that aren’t fun. Because after a while, you end up thinking about those dreaded tasks for longer than it actually takes to do them. (Believe me, I’m saying that from personal experience!)

So, go into your day with 2-3 things you intend to accomplish. Be content with your decision. And now your energy is focused positively on those few tasks. 

If we go into our day thinking we need to get everything done, we tend to set ourselves up for failure and feeling guilty. Because no matter how super-human we are…sometimes completing our entire list isn’t possible. And it’s not worth staying up until 3am to finish. Seriously, dark circles under our eyeballs are not cute. 

Release yourself from the notion that you need to get everything done. Control and self-worth are not derived from a completed to-do list. Choose 2-3 things that are important to you to finish. And at the end of the day, be proud and grateful of what you accomplished. Focus on what you DID do, rather than what you DIDN’T do. You'll be amazed at how positive and at-peace you feel. 

(A cute notebook like the one pictured above isn’t required, but it certainly makes it all a little bit more fun.) 

Kick Ass and Be Fierce

My mantra for the day <3

The Six Most Powerful Words You Can Say To Yourself

"It's a good thing I'm me."

I will never forget the moment I said those words to myself. The profound effect those six simple words had on my mindset and the places it has given me the courage to go. 

I had just finished talking with my family about my plans (well, at that point they were more of a vague idea) of moving up to Napa Valley to work in hospitality. It was an uplifting and encouraging talk, but I still was overwhelmed at the prospect of doing something that involved such a radical change in my life. And the overwhelming emotions kicked my ego/mind into high-gear...and I began to tell myself I wasn't good enough to find a job in a new area, that I was making a mistake, etc. 

I went to the bathroom to pee and zen out (normal?) for a second. At that point, the thoughts swirling around my mind went something like this: You want to find out more about wine and hospitality Lindsey? Yeah, you and everyone else in that region. What makes you think you even have a chance of being successful at that? You're not any different from all those people. AND you have zero hospitality experience. LOL, REALLY? My mind continued this string of thoughts until I looked at myself in the mirror and a small, but strong voice came out of nowhere and said:

"Well, it's a good thing I'm me."

It almost felt like I had been slapped in the face or another person had said those words. But no...it was me. My inner voice and wisdom finally standing up to my mind and its bullying tendencies. 

I blinked and stared into the mirror. Rapidly feeling a sense of expansion and self-criticism being lifted from my shoulders. 

Of course I could do the move and get a job. I was me. I had the power to make it happen. As does everyone else. And if it didn't happen, then something better would come as a result of simply trying for it in the first place. What did I have to lose? 

And looking back, I have to laugh. Saying such self-empowering words to myself while looking in the mirror, when years before the mirror had been a source of such self-loathing and negativity. Using it to hate and pick apart my body, trying to fit some delusional expectation I had about the way I should look. It was my worst enemy for years, but now I looked at myself and felt empowerment, not inability and hatred. 

Since then, those 6 simple words began a profound shift in life. My mind, my ego, usually the home of self-doubt and criticism has slowly started joining the same team as my heart and inner wisdom. It's no longer a booming voice that drowns out my heart-induced feelings and inspirations. 

Now whenever I'm faced with a challenging situation or an important opportunity, I am being greeted by self-doubt less and less. Sure, it's still there and doesn't go away overnight. But by nurturing and loving that inner voice of mine, and allowing it the freedom and space to speak, it's become stronger. And that little, encouraging voice in my mind has given me the comfort and confidence to "go for it." To try for something I really want. In so many different aspects of my life.

Thoughts become things and that is certainly true when it comes to the conversations you have with yourself. Allow your inner wisdom and voice the space to speak and guide you. Greet that self-doubting ego with a big, respectful "hello!" but then gently remind it that you're going to focus on your intuitive voice instead. Because the more you fight the ego, the stronger it gets. 

Here's how I think of it: let your heart lead you and let your mind say, "Ok. Game Plan!" Because you do need both; your logical, analytical mind and your intuitive, dream-following heart...but when the two are at odds or if you are constantly led by one and not the other, life gets thrown out of balance. It's hard to move forward in a positive, inspiring way. When that happens to me, I just feel like I'm stuck. My heart is pushing on the gas pedal, but my mind still has the car in park because it's afraid and doubtful. 

Don't let you mind bully your body and inner wisdom. Begin to view your mind and intuition as being on the same team. So, the next time you're filled with self-doubt, go to the bathroom to pee and zen out, look at yourself in the mirror and say "It's a good thing I'm me." And then go conquer the world. 

What To Do With Negative Feedback (tequila-spiked lemonade anyone?)

The out-pouring of love and support I felt yesterday when my article was posted on Thought Catalogue was incredible. I am so grateful and thankful and feel SO beyond fortunate to have such encouragement and wonderful friends behind me as I move forward with this new venture. A sincere and heartfelt "thank you" to everyone; friends, family, acquaintances...it means so much to me and gives me even more fuel to keep doing what I'm doing.

That being said...haha, I made the amateur mistake today of flipping through the comment section of my article on Thought Catalogue today.

LOL. Wowsies.

There were the general, "very inspiring!" "great article!"

And my all-time favorite: "Good advice but not to be confused with, 'I can bang every person that I want, no matter who I am with.'"

And then there were the negative comments. Like, "ouch" kind of negative. Ranging from "this is a terrible article" and "a horrible piece of advice, as you obviously have a severe anxiety disorder" to some crazy troll Internet person who just lambasted me. It was almost deranged sounding...calling me derogatory names, tearing my writing apart...it was quite charming (not.)

I was skimming over this as I rode in the car (in the passenger seat Dad, don't worry) to the Marin Headlands and thankfully I had the sense to shut my phone off and put it away. I quieted for a minute and looked out the window as we drove across the Golden Gate Bridge. I felt a little sick, taken aback by the craziness of that one comment. I was able to shake it off quite quickly though and enjoy the rest of my afternoon. Especially the view from the Marin Headlands, I mean OMG gorgeous.

Our next stop was Stinson Beach, and as we relaxed in the on-and-off again sun I told my fellow adventurer what I had read and how I felt.

Honestly, I was glad it happened. I am the one entering the field where negative feedback and disagreement is 100% bound to happen. I'm setting myself up for it! And I know it. But on the flip side, there will be people who are hopefully inspired and motivated by what I write. I just want to help people, in any way I can, and those are the ones I want to reach. But it's not always going to be a bulls-eye every time.

I went on to tell him that not only was I glad it happened with the first article (I mean, let's just get this negative feedback going from square one and then it will never be a shocker again, haha!), but it also allowed me to toughen up my skin a bit for the upcoming journey.

Here were the two lessons I learned:

1. I will focus on the feedback, advice, constructive criticism and thoughts I receive from people I know and respect, and from those (strangers or not) who reach out to me in a respectful way. As someone said to me the first day I posted my YouTube video about this blog, "Don't invest energy pleasing the critics...it's a go-nowhere path." I now fully invest my energy, not in combating the critics, but in doing my best to reach as many people I can in a positive way.  
2. No more looking at the comments from my guest posts. Aha. Whether it's on the website/blog's Facebook page or the comment section itself, I believe it would be best overall to not review those sections. I am beyond open to criticism and feedback, but I think reading it on sites and blogs that are not my own, where it's not 100% my true audience, would be more detrimental than productive. Why expend that kind of energy? I'll focus on what my audience has to say on my blog and website. (Any other seasoned bloggers/writers have thoughts and feedback regarding this? :) ) 

Anyhoo. Sending love and gratitude to those who have given me encouragement and productive criticism. And now I'm off to go make lemonade, accidentally spiked with tequila, with those lemons I received today. Grateful for those lessons learned. 

Cheers! 

3 Self-Love Affirmations

Journey Through the Chakras