Meltdowns, Mascara and Organic Peanut Butter

I think we all have this expectation that when we have a meltdown, we’ll somehow look like the Disney princesses as they flawlessly toss their heads into their arms and do a few snot-free, back-heaving sobs. Who are then suddenly surrounded by their small woodland friends, all of whom have a vocabulary larger than mine, who comfort them in their weaker moments. 

But “flawless” was the furthest thing from my meltdown today as I found myself sitting in my car, full-on sobs, nose running, eyes dripping and with nothing to wipe my face with other than the sleeve of my woolen-ish sweater (ew) and my hands.  

If you’re like me, you can kind of tell when a mini-meltdown will be happening. Like how weather/science/geologist people predict something will happen within a given timeframe, they’re just not sure exactly when and what will set it off. 

Welp, I am a super-scientist when it comes to my meltdowns. I know they’re gonna happen, but since I'm a fairly even-keeled person, I don’t know what will set them off. Although when the switch is flipped, it’s usually because of something completely unrelated…that “cap on the pickle-jar” scenario. It's usually something ridiculous, like the trash bag not fitting on the lid of the trashcan. And rather than pleasantly giving up and buying different trash bags like a normal, sane person, we stretch that sucker until it breaks and the trash can flips over. 

“Oh my gosh, why are you crying Lindsey??”

“The f*cking trash bag won’t fit on the f*cking trash can and it’s so stupid and I’m just so sick of this shit!!”

It wasn’t a trashcan that set me off today; it was finding zero parking spots in my neighborhood. Like zilch. All the ones I did find were free because of the street cleaning tomorrow, which was exactly why I was moving my car in the first place. After about 20 minutes of zooming around, I finally gave up and angrily jerked my car from drive to reverse from drive to reverse until I was backed into an open spot that was indeed marked for street cleaning tomorrow. And then I burst into tears. 

A few weeks of going from my day job (which I love) to my apartment to do my work (building my health and fitness coaching business), with too little sleep and too much coffee, already had my poor adrenals on high alert. I wasn’t giving myself enough breathing time. 

I love every single thing I am doing; it is a lot of work, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel like it. If I need to stay up until midnight to get my projects done, then so be it! I’m full of passion for what I’m creating and doing. The last few weekends have been great…but filled with work. Again, something I’m totally, 100% willing to do. Another under-lying factor is that I am confident in what I’m doing, but at the same time, I also feel like I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I just keep believing in myself, taking action and feeling so blessed that I have support from amazing people.

But I could feel the breaking point coming where I would need to release the stress and adrenaline. I had hoped that it would be via a sad movie sob session or maybe even through a longer meditation (in my dreams), but no. Blubbering in my car. And then proudly prancing down Broderick Street to my apartment, face mildly streaked with make up and mascara (it was cute. And one more contributing factor to #thesinglelife.)

So, my meltdown wasn’t flawless. It was gushing, full of snot and clearly non-waterproof mascara. At the same time, it was fantastic and much needed. 

But I can tell you what I am flawlessly doing right now is sitting on the floor of my apartment writing this with a spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth (it’s organic with no additives, thank you). This was post-forced-cuddle session with my bird, which, for those of you who know birds, “cuddling” isn’t their forte. He loved it though. I know it.  

Anyways, I’m gonna go make dinner. 

I know, there were no “action steps to make you life healthier and happier” in this post. But I hope this was a story that provided entertainment and a sense that we all have “those kinds of days.” A relatable "fairytale."

Lots of love from the health and fitness coach who still stress-eats peanut butter once in a while. Peace out friends. 

How to Rock Your Goals and Be More Productive

I'll never forget watching a video lecture called "Big Rocks" during my training at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. The video focused on time management and prioritizing our tasks throughout the day.

The idea was that we tend to fill up our day (represented by an empty mason jar) with getting all the little, piddly-ass things done on our to-do list. Insignificant tasks (little rocks) that keep us busy, but don't move us closer to our goals and dreams (big rocks). But those larger goals seem like monstrous tasks, ones we can't even begin to think about until we get all those little things out of the way...

For example: I have been wanting to write a blog post for a week and a half now. Have I? Nope. Not until tonight. I wanted to get all the other little things out of the way first, so that I could focus entirely on writing a good blog post.

A week and a half later, the "little things" keep making their way to the top of my to-do list, despite their true insignificance and my desire to sit down and write. I let things like cleaning the apartment, food preparation, doing my nails, grocery shopping, setting up social media outreach for the week, catching up on emails, etc., rise to the top of my list and get ahead of the things I really want to be doing. The tasks that will actually propel me closer (ok, I'm talking like "baby steps" closer) to my goals and dreams.

Which are, by-the-way, to be a writer/self-empowerment guru. I'll be honest.


Back to the video lecture. The instructor filled up the mason jar with a whole bunch of pebbles (the small, busy-work tasks). The jar was full and there was no space for the big rocks (larger tasks and goals). #storyofmylife

But then he emptied the jar and began again. This time he started by placing three big rocks in the jar. They fit fine. He then poured all the little rocks into the jar, which fit snugly in the spaces not filled by the big rocks.

To someone (me) who is blazingly awful at all-things spacial/mathematic/scientific, that visual was amazeballs.

Think about it: So often we prioritize busy-work tasks and small to-do's over the "big stuff" because we assume they are easier to finish and accomplish. But they are never-ending and have a way of continuously filling up our mind...like the way popcorn fills up the bag while being cooked in the microwave. Our bigger tasks, the ones that seem too beastly or "time-consuming" to finish, are pushed further and further down our to-do list.

After a while though, we begin to tread water. We're going no where. If we don't tackle those bigger tasks, they'll just sit there and collect dust. No one likes dusty goals.

Here's the take-away:

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1) The sky won't fall if we don't get allllllll of those little tasks done in one day.
2) We can still do those little things after we finish a big rock.
3) Sometimes after a larger task is finished, you will feel so relieved and accomplished that the little things don't seem as important any more.

I find it helpful to write down everything (big and small) on a list. Then categorize the tasks by "big rocks" and "little rocks." Choose one big rock and two or three little rocks to accomplish each day. For me this was writing a blog post (huzzah!), exercising, laundry and food prep for the rest of the week. My clothes still got washed even though I was bound and determined to finish the "big rock" of writing a post.

Because in the end, we tend to spend more time thinking about those big tasks for longer than it actually takes to do them. I spent a week and a half thinking about writing and here I did it in a 26-minute wash cycle.

Kick Ass and Be Fierce

My mantra for the day <3

What To Do With Negative Feedback (tequila-spiked lemonade anyone?)

The out-pouring of love and support I felt yesterday when my article was posted on Thought Catalogue was incredible. I am so grateful and thankful and feel SO beyond fortunate to have such encouragement and wonderful friends behind me as I move forward with this new venture. A sincere and heartfelt "thank you" to everyone; friends, family, acquaintances...it means so much to me and gives me even more fuel to keep doing what I'm doing.

That being said...haha, I made the amateur mistake today of flipping through the comment section of my article on Thought Catalogue today.

LOL. Wowsies.

There were the general, "very inspiring!" "great article!"

And my all-time favorite: "Good advice but not to be confused with, 'I can bang every person that I want, no matter who I am with.'"

And then there were the negative comments. Like, "ouch" kind of negative. Ranging from "this is a terrible article" and "a horrible piece of advice, as you obviously have a severe anxiety disorder" to some crazy troll Internet person who just lambasted me. It was almost deranged sounding...calling me derogatory names, tearing my writing apart...it was quite charming (not.)

I was skimming over this as I rode in the car (in the passenger seat Dad, don't worry) to the Marin Headlands and thankfully I had the sense to shut my phone off and put it away. I quieted for a minute and looked out the window as we drove across the Golden Gate Bridge. I felt a little sick, taken aback by the craziness of that one comment. I was able to shake it off quite quickly though and enjoy the rest of my afternoon. Especially the view from the Marin Headlands, I mean OMG gorgeous.

Our next stop was Stinson Beach, and as we relaxed in the on-and-off again sun I told my fellow adventurer what I had read and how I felt.

Honestly, I was glad it happened. I am the one entering the field where negative feedback and disagreement is 100% bound to happen. I'm setting myself up for it! And I know it. But on the flip side, there will be people who are hopefully inspired and motivated by what I write. I just want to help people, in any way I can, and those are the ones I want to reach. But it's not always going to be a bulls-eye every time.

I went on to tell him that not only was I glad it happened with the first article (I mean, let's just get this negative feedback going from square one and then it will never be a shocker again, haha!), but it also allowed me to toughen up my skin a bit for the upcoming journey.

Here were the two lessons I learned:

1. I will focus on the feedback, advice, constructive criticism and thoughts I receive from people I know and respect, and from those (strangers or not) who reach out to me in a respectful way. As someone said to me the first day I posted my YouTube video about this blog, "Don't invest energy pleasing the critics...it's a go-nowhere path." I now fully invest my energy, not in combating the critics, but in doing my best to reach as many people I can in a positive way.  
2. No more looking at the comments from my guest posts. Aha. Whether it's on the website/blog's Facebook page or the comment section itself, I believe it would be best overall to not review those sections. I am beyond open to criticism and feedback, but I think reading it on sites and blogs that are not my own, where it's not 100% my true audience, would be more detrimental than productive. Why expend that kind of energy? I'll focus on what my audience has to say on my blog and website. (Any other seasoned bloggers/writers have thoughts and feedback regarding this? :) ) 

Anyhoo. Sending love and gratitude to those who have given me encouragement and productive criticism. And now I'm off to go make lemonade, accidentally spiked with tequila, with those lemons I received today. Grateful for those lessons learned. 

Cheers! 

3 Self-Love Affirmations

This Week In Happiness

My internet navigation skills have brought me to these articles/sites/pictures/quotes/thoughts...enjoy and HAPPY TUESDAY!! ( << Because why not celebrate today like it's special?)

Elite Daily: Discovering Your Entrepreneurial Spirit: Why All Millennials Should Try To Take Their Ideas To The Next Level. Not only did I agree with and relate to almost 100% of this article, but it made me feel better about writing long-ass titles and capitalizing "the" in those said titles. (#itsthesmallthingsinlife)

Find Your Spirit Animal: I got on the subject of Spirit Animals while having dinner with a friend last night. Pretty cool. Check out the quiz here.

Thought of the Day: Everything serves a purpose and happens for a reason. Keep going.

Health: Why coconut water (well, coconut anything in my opinion) is bomb. And of course, Trader Joe's is aiding my obsession of coconut water/oil/milk/roasted chips (FML they're good).

Inspiration: Shine from the inside out <3

Mind: Pick three to five words to describe how you want to feel in your life. For example, my words are, "light, vibrant, free, energetic, balanced." Now list three to five things you can do today to feel that way. And what actions can you take this week to feel that way? Strive to pursue your goals through how you want to feel in your life. Solid, materialistic, I-can-actually-touch it, goals are practical and necessary, but when it comes to the bigger picture of life and happiness, following those "core desired feelings" will really take you to the places you want to go. When I follow my core desired feelings (or try to at least!) I find I have a greater sense of happiness, abundance and peace in my life, no matter what ups or downs I may be going through.